


To The Future

by chakochick



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Drunken Confession of Love, Endgame fix, F/M, KJ's drunk, Sorry Not Sorry, endshame fix, no c7, this can be canon now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:08:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23352955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chakochick/pseuds/chakochick
Summary: Just a little Endshame fix, my last entry for the J/C Trope fest. "Drunken Confession of Love" - and can now possibly be considered canon after Picardwoot wootI changed this story about eight times (as jemabean heard about each time I started over) so it didn't end up QUITE like I expected, but I'm overall happy with it. I hope you like it. Just a little nugget of J/C to pull at the heartstrings a bit.
Relationships: Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway
Comments: 18
Kudos: 80
Collections: Janeway/Chakotay Trope fics





	To The Future

Chakotay stepped off the turbo lift, exhaustion and relief warring for dominance deep in his soul. He carried his last bottle of Antarian cider securely in his hands as he exited the turbo lift. He’d been saving this one for just this occasion, and tonight was finally the night they could share it.

They were _finally_ home.

Voyager was in space dock. The view out of every viewport was either Earth or one of over a dozen Starfleet ships, ready to escort Voyager back home tomorrow morning. They were to land the ship tomorrow at 0900; a place was being prepared at that very moment outside the Presidio and Chakotay couldn’t wait to see it. He couldn’t wait to set foot on Earth again. He couldn’t wait to step off the ship, side by side with his Captain…

...Kathryn. He smiled like a fool to himself at the thought of her. Her first order of business once the admiralty had shown up on Voyager was to secure a pardon for each and every Maquis member on board. It hadn’t taken much of an argument; as the first wave of her reports and logs had been looked over, Admiral Paris and the others had seen what an asset Chakotay’s former crew had been, Chakotay in particular, that it didn’t take much nudging for Starfleet to issue full pardons and commendations to the Maquis members of her Starfleet crew.

Kathryn had been mysteriously absent for the majority of the day, and terse for the rest of it. He figured she was just physically and mentally exhausted; tired of repeating things over and over to this or that Admiral or administrator as they came to and from various other ships.

He’d spent a bit of time visiting with B’Elanna and Miral; his heart so full of love for the Paris family he felt that he could burst.

And now he was on his way to spend the evening with the woman who mattered most. That silly grin wouldn’t leave his face as he slowed, taking the last few steps before stopping in front of her door.

He had been worried that she might already be sleeping. Tomorrow was a big day for them all, but if he was any judge of her character, which he figured he was after seven years, she wouldn’t sleep a wink tonight.

It was nearly midnight when he tapped her door chime, but he bounced lightly on his feet, feeling wide awake at the thought of all this evening and the days to come had to offer.

There was no answer.

Furrowing his brow, he tapped the chime again. Perhaps she was in the bath. He hadn’t thought of that, and he hoped he wasn’t interrupting her trying to relax after such a long day. 

There was still no answer.

Concern starting to lick at the edge of his thoughts, he spoke quietly, “Computer, locate Captain Janeway.”

“Captain Janeway is in her quarters.”

Chakotay tapped his comm badge, speaking softly in case Kathryn was already sleeping. Though he doubted it, he would hate to wake her. “Chakotay to Captain Janeway.”

His heart lurched when he heard a quick sniffle and then her voice cracked as she spoke, “Please go away.”

Was she crying?

Concern clouded his better judgment and he tapped the door chime again, speaking to her through the comm line, “Kathryn, please answer the door. Are you alright?” He was thankful that the corridor was empty; he could only imagine how this would look and sound to any crew member happening to pass by.

“I said leave me alone.” He couldn’t read the emotion in her voice, and that scared him. He knew every facet, every sound, every mood of Kathryn Janeway...or so he thought.

Knowing that he might very well face her wrath, but also knowing that she _probably_ wouldn’t throw him in the brig for it, he keyed in her access code and the door slid open.

The scene before him broke his heart.

Kathryn sat on her sofa in her uniform pants and grey undershirt, her head in her hands. There were PADDs all over her coffee table, and a bottle of Irish Whiskey sat dangerously close to empty amongst them. 

She looked up at hearing her door open, her icy glare holding just as much vitriol as ever, despite her bloodshot and watery eyes. She _had_ been crying, but the anger that she shot at him was staggering. “Kathryn, please tell me what’s wrong.”

She let out a shuddering sigh, “Don’t pretend like you don’t know.” Her voice, quavering as it was with emotion and alcohol, could still put a chill down a Vidiian’s spine, and it set an uneasy feeling in Chakotay’s heart.

He crossed the room towards her, setting his own bottle of alcohol on the table, suddenly in no mood to celebrate as he tentatively sat down beside her. Reaching out to touch her shoulder, she recoiled from his touch, “Kathryn, please talk to me.”

Her head snapped up, “Talk to you? What on Earth could you possibly expect me to say? That I’m happy for you? That I wish you nothing but the best?” He noticed immediately her slurred words and slow speech. He didn’t know how long she’d been drinking, but he would guess that she’d consumed a large amount of alcohol in a very short amount of time.

“Kathryn, I don’t unders-”

“I love you, you know...” It was not a question, but a whispered statement so full of despair that it rent through his heart as fresh tears spilled down her cheeks. “I’ve waited seven years to tell you that, and because of this damned ship and the damned Delta quadrant, I couldn’t until now, and now it’s too late.” She dropped her head in her hands, her shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

Chakotay was befuddled. He wanted to reach out and comfort her but had a feeling she would recoil again. He was thrilled to hear the words that he’d longed to hear for years but wished they’d come from a clear mind and not the bottom of a liquor bottle. After a moment he tentatively whispered his fingers down her shoulder. “Kathryn, I think we’re in the middle of a conversation that we never started. Can you please tell me what you mean. Why should you be happy for me?”

She scoffed, jerking away and standing up on wobbly legs. “You’ve never played dumb to placate me before, Chakotay. Don’t you _dare_ start now!” Her eyes held disdain and desperation in equal measure, morphing into pure anger at the confused look on his face. 

“Kathryn. I-”

“Seven! For heaven’s sake, Chakotay. You and Seven. You had a date with her not two days ago. I saw you standing beside each other when we came through to the Alpha quadrant. I hear the crew talking.” She was visibly trembling as she practically spat the words at him, and the pieces began to fall into place as he slowly stood up and approached her.

“Kathryn, you don’t-”

“No, I don’t want to hear it right now. I need you to-”

“Damnit, Kathryn! Let me finish a damn sentence.” Her eyes went wide at his sudden outburst, but she closed her mouth, her silence a signal for him to continue. “Come sit down,” he spoke softly, and she seemed mesmerized by the change in the conversation. Moving slowly and clumsily, she came over to the sofa, sitting down beside him again.

“Kathryn, I _did_ have lunch with Seven the day before yesterday, but it wasn’t a date. I thought it she wanted it to be at first but realized quickly that it wasn’t.” Chakotay reached towards her and took her hand, “She started asking me questions about you and I...and our friendship.” Kathryns’ brow furrowed, but she remained focused as he continued. “She asked me a lot about you; your interests, your likes, and dislikes.”

“Why on Earth would she do that?” It was Chakotay’s cheeks that pinked a bit at that.

“I wasn’t sure until she came to my quarters yesterday. She brought me flowers, and she kissed me.” Kathryn’s eyes went wide and that anger started to flare again, though with much less zeal than before. Just as she opened her mouth, he held up a finger, pressing it ever so gently against her lips, “Let. Me. Finish.” There was no malice in his tone and his lips curled up gently. Her mouth closed and she nodded.

“I was very surprised, so I questioned her motivation. We’ve been friends for a long time, and I didn’t understand why all of a sudden she was showing such an interest in you, but then showing up to my quarters and kissing me.”

“Chakotay, she’s in love with you.” Kathryn couldn’t help herself as she blurted it out.

“No, Kathryn, she’s in love with _you_.”

Kathryn’s eyes went wide as she glanced from Chakotay to the bottle of Irish Whiskey that was suddenly making her feel queasy, to the bottle of Antarian cider sitting forgotten on her table, then back to Chakotay. Puzzle pieces started to fall into place, but with much less coordination than she would prefer. “I...give me a minute.”

Kathryn got up and went to her replicator. After keying in several commands a hypospray appeared that she quickly administered to herself before moving off to her bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

Chakotay sat silently, waiting as the minutes slipped by.

After maybe ten minutes Kathryn emerged, her face scrubbed and her uniform gone. In its place she wore a blue dress. That damned blue dress she’d worn on New Earth.

He realized that she wanted to have the rest of this conversation as Kathryn, leaving the Captain behind for the remainder of the evening, and his heart rate picked up at the implication.

Sitting down beside him, she took his hand again, smiling softly for him to continue.

“Seven doesn’t understand relationships; not really. Not like we do.” He absently brushed his thumbs over her knuckles, “She has strong feelings for you but doesn’t understand the repercussions of those feelings. She thought she could practice with me, not understanding personal boundaries, or that you can’t… _practice_ something like that.” Chakotay took a breath, “I tried to explain it to her, but she still doesn’t understand...not fully.”

“I had no idea,” Kathryn’s eyes fell to a spot in the distance as she thought on everything that had happened, “Seven and I are close. Why didn’t she just tell me?”

Chakotay grinned knowingly, “It’s hard to tell the ones we love how we truly feel when we aren’t sure if the feelings are reciprocated.”

Her eyes flew to his, the weight of her own previous admission suddenly pressing down on her, “Chakotay…”

“I love you too, Kathryn. I always have. And I always will.” He said it so plainly and so honestly, that it took a moment to settle fully in her heart before she could react. Kathryn’s lips curled up in the faintest smile before a frown knit her brows together.

“And I’ve ruined it. I ruined your homecoming celebration. I’ve ruined-” She sighed, motioning between them before her head dropped back into her hands in defeat.

“Hey,” his hand came up to lift her chin, his thumb brushing the bottom swell of her bottom lip, “You haven’t ruined anything. This day has been practically perfect. My Captain got her crew home today, and the woman I love told me that she loves me too.” His hand slid up to weave his fingers into her hair. “I can’t think of anything better.”

Kathryn smiled, truly her first real smile since Chakotay had arrived, and he couldn’t help but reciprocate. Kathryn closed her eyes, closing the distance between them to press her forehead against his, “I have to talk to Seven...let her know that while I’m flattered by her attentions, I can’t return them, because my heart belongs to someone else,” she pulled back to look into his eyes, “It always has.”

Chakotay smiled, his dimples pressing deeply into his cheeks as he looked at the woman before him. Closing this distance once again, he pressed his lips to hers, seven years of pent up longing finally culminating in the perfect moment as Kathryn pressed closer to him, her hand sliding up his chest to curl around the collar of his uniform jacket.

After several long seconds, Kathryn pulled back for air, grinning up at Chakotay before falling into his arms, pressing her cheek into his chest, sighing as his arms came around her. Once again she spotted the bottle of cider on her table. “Your Antarian cider. Is that your last bottle?”

Chakotay let his hands run up and down her back, marveling at the warmth and feel of her in his arms. “It is. I thought we could celebrate getting home,” he felt her stiffen, knowing she was about to apologize again, “But I think we should save it. I think we’ll have plenty to celebrate going forward.”

His suggestive tone was not lost on her, and she pulled back, a knowing smile tugging her own lips.

=/\=

Kathryn rolled over on her side under the blankets of her bed, watching the lights blinking on the top peaks of the Golden Gate bridge. A part of her thought she’d never see them again, and though it felt so odd to be back on Earth after so long away, it was still home.

Several small transports slid through the air in the distance and Kathryn knew she’d never again tire of seeing the hustle and bustle of San Francisco, the flurry of activity at Starfleet Headquarters.

Cool air flitted across her back as the covers lifted and Chakotay slid in behind her, the heat of his naked flesh warming her own. Turning over, she propped herself up on her elbow, watching as he held out a glass of cider...their last bottle. Taking the glass she waited while he grabbed his own. Holding it up, he tapped it softly against hers, “To the future.”

Kathryn grinned, pressing a kiss to his lips, “To the future.”


End file.
